Trust. Faith. More than 5 letter words.

It seems that lately just as I've made up my mind, everything changes. Is there a reason why my plans won't stay planned? I am so frustrated that my life seems to resist boundaries and boxes! This summer I am spending 2 and a half monthes working with youth. I have no clue what I am doing! I have no previous training and I feel so inadequate. I want to prepare for it, but I don't even know where to start. When I applied for a position, I knew that it would be the hardest thing I'd ever done up to this point in my life. But I knew that God was calling me to say goodbye to who I've been and follow Him. I know He is enough and that He will guide me and give me strength every single day, but yet I still doubt.

Lately, I've been challenged around every corner by the concept of trust. Just last weekend I attended a service at Ohio State University and guess what the speaker's topic was... trust. Many people I've talked to have been struggling with the same thing. Many of us are college students and we see so much change and stress that worry and stress are becoming second nature to us. The only way to change this is asking God for faith. It is a gift He wants everyone to have, but most of us, though we say we want it, reject it before we even realize what it is.I've realized that trust is more than just a 5 letter word; rather it is an action that demands our full commitment. I've been far too wrapped up in making my plans that I forget to rest in the trust that being a follower of Christ demands. Of course, trusting in Christ is not safe. In fact, it is one of the most dangerous actions because it shows us how big God is and that we are not serving a limited God. He is able to do anything and he uses us in bigger ways than we could have ever imagined. No, faith is not safe.

Faith is also not fear. We need to quiet our thoughts and our mouths from asking God, "What if...?" No matter how many times we ask Him, we will never know the future or the exact implications of our choices. There is a reason why we are told to trust the Lord and not lean on our own understandings (Proverbs 3:4-6). Faith is not about control. We cannot act as though we are in control; if I was in control, it would look rather like a mouse trying to lead the pony. It is simply ridiculous. We ought to not panic, but rather rest in the fact that He does have control. To follow the earlier analogy, he is the friendly green giant guiding the horse. When we rest in Him, we have no need of worrying and we are not stressed. It accomplishes nothing.

Another sign that I lack faith is when I refuse to admit I'm wrong and I don't seek wise advice from others. It seems that this happens almost daily. (Oh, and if I'm right, that is even worse. My head can barely fit through the doorway. My pride is a sign that I lack trust because I don't feel the need for trust and that is truly terrible.) When we try to earn God's salvation by works, it is a sign that we do not trust God's providence for us. We often place our own abilities and our own "needs" over the role of faith. The instant I look to my money or my education (ouch!) to provide for myself, it is a sign that faith is far from me. And that is the true tragedy. Faith is a gift and it is an action that should become my first reaction and my first defense against all those things I previously mentioned.

Join me in my prayer and search for faith. Christ said "Ask and it will be given unto you; seek and you shall find; knock and it will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7) Can we at least trust that? If I can't have faith in the God who formed me, what do I have?